I think quarantine might be killing me. I’ve been wrong before; so I have a strong suspicion I might be wrong about this, but I can’t be too sure.
You don’t realize how busy your life is until you are forced to put everything on hold. Your job, education, social life —everything you have gotten familiar with this entire time— forced to halt indefinitely. It’s petrifying, the amount of things we humans have grown accustomed to day in and day out, taken away from us in an instant with little warning. Are you scared? You should be.
And even when it seems like the whole world is crashing down, there is still so much hope. Us humans don’t like to admit to the good. Good things don’t sell. Terror, torture, and fear— that’s the good shit. We’re addicted to suffering. We may be mostly ignorant to that fact, but the truth prevails each and every time.
You know what’s cool? Having a parade for a ninety-two year old veteran who couldn’t spend his birthday with anyone during quarantine. A community actively got together to celebrate this man’s life without any rhyme or reason. They didn’t get anything out of it except satisfaction of making a man smile.
An anonymous donor from Iowa purchased $82,000 worth of gift cards to help Madison County residents suffering financiallyduring the pandemic.
People are spending time sewing masks to donate to local nursing homes. Large cities are noticing clean air and water for the first time in many moons. Schools are providing free lunches to kids in their communities. It’s hard to appreciate the good while the bad can be so deafening, but it’s out there. You just have to look for it.
I don’t know when this will end. I won’t sit here and pretend like I haven’t cried because I miss my family and my life and everything I’ve planned for in the upcoming future. I’m not naive enough to think that I won’t cry again. I will not wake up every day with a smile on my face. I won’t do these things because I’m not a positive person— in fact, I’m very positive. I’m very positive that I am human and things are bound to bother me.
I will say that when this does end, I will appreciate traffic a little more. I’ll be more thankful for my morning Starbucks run. I’ll smile more at strangers, and try not to curse them out when they give me weird looks. I’ll spend a little more time on myself and my goals— and I’ll do my best to be content when things don’t go my way.
I’ll be a better human, and in the end if that’s all I am— I’ll be okay with it.