Recently, the hardest battle has been realizing the people that are supposed to be there for you unconditionally, are not always the people that you can trust; nor are they the people with your best interest in mind.
As we grow older and we become more wise, we start to face reality and realize not everyone has the same heart we do. Expectations are almost always let down. The people we love the most, be it family or friends, can break our hearts way more than we knew was possible. Family won’t always have our backs. Friends have their own lives. At the end of the day, while you’re lying in bed at night and the world is quiet and no ones around, you face it– you are in this alone.
And I don’t mean that to sound negative. It’s not a negative realization. In fact, its sort of reassuring– we know ourselves the best. We are our own best friend. There’s nothing wrong with spending time solo. But being alone is what we are all so deathly afraid of.
As much as we love our moms and dads, our best friends, our sisters and brothers– we can’t expect too much. The moment we begin to feel let down is the moment we begin to compare.
Why don’t I have what she has?
Why can’t I have that?
We are meant to live our own lives, separately, and there’s nothing we can do to alter fate. Our hearts will be broken. Our family will let us down. Friends come and go. It’s fucking hard. There’s few things in this world harder than heartbreak from people you thought you knew or thought you trusted. People you thought the world of can still hurt you. Perfection is not real.
We are only human. The only action we can take to ease the difficulty of growing up is be the person we want others to be towards us.
Be kind, genuinely kind. Open the door for the person behind you. Pay for someone’s coffee. Give someone a coupon you’re not using. Who cares what it may be? It doesn’t matter– what matters is that you tried. You are actively trying to be the good you wish you would have experienced.
I’m sorry that sometimes life seems unbearable. I’m sorry that some things make no sense. I’m sorry that the hand you were dealt seems so shitty in comparison to everyone else’s, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Be the person, parent, or friend you wish you had. The attitude you have towards the misfortunes of life is entirely up to you. Do good and be good.
We need you.