You are needed.
When the world falls at your feet and you become entangled in disaster, tragedy, and anger– we need you.
When your mental health is at stake and you’re manic and you can’t tell whether the fight is worth it– we need you.
When you hold the cold gun barrel to your head and you’re crying and you don’t know whether or not to pull the trigger because your mom loves you but the world seems to be against you and you can’t bare to make another mistake– we need you.
When you’re sitting in your car in hysterics because you can’t figure anything out on your own and you’re lonely and nobody seems to be listening, really listening, and you’re trying to scream but nothing will come out– we need you.
We will always need you.
It seems hard to imagine how you’re going to make it another 5,10,15 years. The near thought of waking for another day and living the mundane and breathing in the daily dread is hard enough.
Its hard enough not knowing the future; if it’s worth it, if you’re needed or not.
I am here for you and I know the way it feels to want to off yourself and not care about the consequences or who finds your body or what happens after.
I know the way it feels to look in the mirror and cry until my eyes are swollen and my cheeks are puffy and red.
I know the way it feels to choke on the medication you take and you’re sick of the way it tastes on your tongue but you withdrawal without it.
I know how you feel when you say the world is bleak and your closest friends are better off without you because you’re more of a nuisance than a helping hand.
But we need you. I need you. Your mom, dad, grandma– they need you. Your future employer, your husband, your wife, your dog– they all need you.
And it gets better. And the more you believe it, the more it becomes real. Each step forward is a step towards recovery, a step towards happiness and love and all those cliche things the world says are cool.
So I’m here for you. I love you and I need you.
We are all fighting the good fight, some of us just more than others.