Yesterday during the storm I found myself scrolling through Facebook and losing brain cells as I discovered a thread of old men claiming depression was not a thing, it was simply made up by “liberal American snowflakes” looking for an excuse to be lazy and a way for big Pharma to make money.
And oh, how I laughed. For multiple reasons, really, but we will stick with just one important one:
How could depression be made up?
Americans have suffered with depression since before I was even thought of and way before that. The way depression affects us is more than just how we feel.
Depression is our mood, our will to live, our lack of motivation, and for some of us; our whole being. Without the proper help, it may very well take our lives. Most of us are no stranger to that.
With that being said, I am currently on day number two of my withdrawal from Venlafaxine, more widely known as Effexor XR. Venlafaxine is a serious antidepressant and should be thoroughly thought through before being regularly taken. As with all medications, what may work for me may not work for Jane or John. I’m happy to say that it does work– when I remember to refill it.
With yesterday’s storm and my dumb ass, I haven’t taken it for two days now.
I will never forget to refill my script again.
Besides my usual lack of sleep, I am experiencing dizziness, slurred speech, fatigue beyond normal comparison, and crying. A lot of crying at a whole lot of nothing. It hurts to walk, think, and do pretty much anything. I am having “brain zaps” and my vision is fuzzy. Getting out of bed today was an accomplishment all of its own. It’s like I’m drunk, only I’m not drunk at all. I don’t want to imagine what I would feel like on day three.
And yet, as much as I want to kick my own ass for forgetting something as imperative as my medication, I would still rather go through this once in a blue moon rather than want to kill myself every day.
So, John Doe on the internet– I pity you. I am also grateful for you, despite your lack of intelligence. I am glad you never experienced depression. I’m glad you never wanted to take your own life. Thank you for showing me that some people are really just that daft, and I am not actually just losing my mind.
That Liberal With Depression