Being an introvert is so much more than preferring to be alone and shying away from social opportunities.
I love being social. I love going out with my friends. Rightfully so, as a college student, I do like to socialize with people I met in college and through work.
However, I very much consider myself to be an introvert and that is not necessarily a bad thing.
As much as I love my friends, after awhile I do get mentally exhausted hanging out with them. This feeling has nothing to do with who they are, of course. It’s just that after awhile, I need to take time to myself and do what I need to do to take care of me. Being social is exhausting for me, regardless of who I am with or how much I love being with them. It just comes with the territory.
I do not find happiness in shallow, meaningless relationships.
Some people can hang out with whoever, whenever and they have a great time.
If that’s you, that’s great. I’m glad you find happiness doing your own thing.
For myself, though, these types of “friendships” are dull and again, exhausting. If I can’t rely on you to be a true friend and come to you when I need you the most, we aren’t friends and there is nothing worthwhile going on between us.
Why drag it out or pretend it’s there when it’s not?
There are days where I could literally not talk to a single person face-to-face and be absolutely fine. It’s nothing personal. I just enjoy doing my own thing whenever I feel like it.
My anxiety is a huge part of who I am unfortunately, and that’s often why I choose to keep to myself. This doesn’t make me a bad friend or a mean person, I just need more time alone than others might. That’s okay.
I wish I was a person who loved going to parties and meeting new people, but the whole idea scares me. Sometimes I’m socially awkward and though I wish it were easy for me to start conversation, it’s not. It’s not even easy for me to start conversation with my own family sometimes.
Please don’t take it personally when I don’t want to hang out on a whim, sometimes it just takes me longer to prepare myself than others. It sounds dumb, but preparation is a big deal to me.
I know sometimes introverts may come across as being snobby or mean because of how we are, but please don’t ever take it that way. I would never intentionally be rude to anyone, unless of course they asked for it!
I love my friends. I love my family. I love my boyfriend… but I also love myself, and sometimes I need to come first.