Each year, about 293,000 people are sexually assaulted. What’s even scarier than that? 98% of rapists will never go to jail over their actions. If that does not infuriate you, you are probably a small fraction of the problem. I have more than a handful of friends who have in one way, shape, or form, been victims of rape or sexual assault. I am no different. I understand.
It is incredibly important to speak out against these acts, as it has an impact on victims forever. It does not matter what a girl wears. It does not matter if they were drunk. It does not matter if they are/were your girlfriend. These girls do not owe you sex. They do not owe you anything at all.
I wasn’t dressed in some elaborate outfit, it was not some short dress with high heels. I was wearing a hoodie and a pair of baggy sweatpants when someone tried forcing me into acts I did not wish to partake in. It was someone I knew, a friend I trusted, and certainly no one I ever acted interested in. It was October of 2014 and I will never forget it. It was the first of two uncomfortable situations I was put in due to the lack of respect I was given by people I truly trusted. I never once mentioned it to authorities. Why? It is my word against theirs, and unfortunately there was no proof. In a way, I feel guilty about not reporting it, I hope and pray that no girl has to deal with the hand I was dealt. I hope that no other girl cries themselves to sleep at night, wishing that the actions never took place. I pray that no other girl has to deal with the trust issues towards other guys who mean no harm to them.
And if my praying doesn’t work, and if all hope runs out, and if that girl is you, I want to apologize. I hope that you can recover from how this broke you down and made you weaker than you thought possible. I hope that you won’t cringe at every guy that tries to get to know you. I hope you find peace and comfort with my words as I try to tell you that it will get easier. The memory will never go away, but you can run from it or you can learn from it. I hope you find someone who loves you despite your past, and I will applaud him for taking on someone so broken and hurt. I hope you will wear whatever you want without a fear that you will be punished for it. I am here for you and I love you.
To everyone else, I hope this article makes you uncomfortable. I am not afraid to let people know what I have gone through in an attempt to help someone else. Knowing of my past may have you think differently of me, and that is okay. I am only stronger because of it. Please do not worry about me. I am fine. Worry about your girlfriends, your sisters, your aunts, your mothers…worry about them.
And a final message to the two people who took advantage of me in the worst way possible:
Thank you. Thank you for helping me understand what a real man is not. Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson, even if I did not know it was one at the time. I hope you find the help you need, because quite frankly, the two of you are all sorts of fu**** up. I forgive you for your actions but I will never forget, and I do anticipate that karma gets you in the end.
I know she will.