When you find someone in this world that you care for, cherish, and adore, it’s hard seeing your circumstance for how it actually is compared to a rose colored lense. If you are lucky, destiny will spare you the heartache that is toxicity. Not everyone is lucky, and not everyone will make it out untouched.
1. They put you down.
I am not all that religious, but my soul contains some faith I like to stick to when times get rough. I like to believe in ghosts, the afterlife, and a higher being. Your partner should not put you down for your beliefs. They should not belittle you. Most importantly, they should not make you feel dumb for clinging on to something that comforts you. Please walk away.
2. They force you into anything you are not comfortable with.
Your body is YOURS. It does not matter if you are together, if you are not comfortable with engaging in a particular activity with your partner, do not. Make it clear that your body is YOURS. If they force you into something you do not want, it is not your fault. Please walk away.
3. They threaten to hurt themselves if you leave.
This is a slap in the face, especially to those who have lost family and friends to suicide. This is manipulative, cruel, and everything in between. Do NOT fall for this or let a (probably) empty threat consume you. Please walk away.
4. They blame you for their mistakes.
Nothing screams insecurity like putting the blame on someone you “love.” If your partner can’t take the blame for their own mistakes, they are not mature enough to be in a committed and loving relationship. Nothing you do or say will change this. Please walk away.
5. They question everything you do.
If you cannot look at Facebook, message anybody, or spend a night out with a group of friends without being interrogated, there is a huge problem. A relationship with no trust is not a relationship. They do not own you. Don’t fall for this. Possessiveness isn’t cute, it’s scary. It could lead to a lot worse situations. Please walk away.
I can’t say I have had it the worst out of everybody, but I definitely should not have been subject to such behavior from someone who claimed they cared for me as much as they did. The things I have experienced changed me, ruined me, and fixed me all at once. I realize now I am worth more than I had previously thought. I deserve someone who does not force me into doing things I do not want to do. I deserve someone who supports my decisions and cheers me on when I am feeling low. I deserve to feel beautiful every single day. The greatest part? You do too. We all do.
I hope you find that someone.
(I think I did.)